Have you ever started dating a woman and wished she had slightly different habits, beliefs, thoughts, or behaviors? Be honest. Take the poll the below and let’s see if this is a regular thing or an uncommon thing.
The truth is that we want people to be more like us. Why? Because we think we are doing things right!
- We think we act the right way
- We think we believe the right things
- We think we think the right thoughts
In short, we think our way is the best way. There is a problem with that though – our way is not the only way.
There are many different ways to act, behave and think. That’s the beauty of this world and the people in it – we are all different.
You don’t have to agree with the way a woman is, and you don’t even have to include her in your life if you don’t agree with her, but she is entitled to be who she wants to be.
There are a few good reasons why you should accept a woman for who she is.
3 Reasons To Accept A Woman For Who She Is
1. Focusing On The Negative Is Bad For Your Happiness
Ask anyone in a serious relationship how much fun it is wishing their partner was someone different. For instance, if they wish their partner would be more loving, ask them how much they worry, get upset, and think about the ‘lack of love’ from their partner. I would be willing to bet they tell you ‘A LOT!’.
When you focus on what someone should be, it can put a huge damper on your life. Your peace of mind gets disrupted as you focus on everything your partner is doing wrong and how it seemingly affects you.
Why can’t they be more like this?
Why can’t they act more like that?
Why, why, why?
In short, it takes your focus off positive things going on in your life and puts your focus on the negative (their inability to be the way you want them to be).
Life is too short to be unhappy all of the time over someone else’s life!
2. She’s Not Going To Change
Other people don’t live to please you, they live to please themselves.
It is true that people can change; however, they are not going to change simply because you want them to. They will change if they become aware that it is something they want or need to do.
Think about it. How many people have truly changed for you?
How many people heard you say, “You are too religious!” and suddenly decided to stop going to church so much?
How about if you said something like, “You are not religious enough!” How many people do you think would change if you said something like that?
Change is hard for most people. Most people can’t change even when they want to change for personal reasons, such as health.
If it’s hard for them to change for themselves, they sure as hell are not going to change for you.
3. You Attack Her Self-Worth When You Don’t Accept Her
Every time you criticize a woman for her thoughts, actions, or behavior, you are hurting her self-worth.
With your words, you are taking a hammer and nailing in the point that she is not good enough every time you tell her that she does this wrong or says that wrong or believes the wrong thing.
That can do one of two things (or both):
1. It will cause her to feel bad about herself.
2. It will cause her to feel bad about you.
Either way, she will not be as happy as she once was.
If you stay together, and she keeps taking hit after hit about how wrong her true self is, you will end up with a miserable woman and a miserable relationship.
If You Don’t Like Her, Don’t Be With Her
The point of this article is not to tell you to change either. As we discussed, that’s not going to happen unless you clearly see how your behavior is affecting the people around you and decide to do something about it.
The point is that if you can’t accept a woman for who she is, then don’t be with her. You are just going to make yourself and her miserable as you focus on what she ‘lacks’ in her life, and there is no point spending years in a relationship like that.