When a girl tells you that you are scary within your first few conversations, it is not usually a good thing. Some people think that ‘scary guy’ and ‘bad boy’ go together, but outside of movies, not many girls will tell you that you are scary in a good way. They may tell you that you are a ‘bad boy’, but they will not necessarily say – “You’re scary!” if they are feeling good about you.
If she thinks you are scary, she will say so and mean it, so don’t try to dissect “You’re scary,” as to have some sort of hidden meaning. For example, on yahoo answers, the follow question was asked.
Do girls sometimes call a guy “scary” as a convenient excuse to reject him, but conceal her real reason (such as not finding him hot)?
For example, I get a good amount of dates and hook ups off of tinder. They almost always go great. But a couple days ago, I saw this girls profile on tinder who was like “Let’s be friends!” In her profile.
I’m usually not a dick, but here she is, clearly taking advantage of thirsty guys and using them for attention, taking their interest and giving them nothing in return (she’s probably not even really their friend, and definitely doesn’t hook up with them or date them). So, I couldn’t resist calling her out on this
She responded by saying “I have to be friends with someone before… Nowhere does it say that this app is to be used for hookups or dating” (even tho numerous websites all agree it is for that).
So I responded, “so if Channing Tatum or Chris Evans came up to you, and said they like to date you but they don’t want to be friends first, you would actually still friend zone them first?”
She admitted she would go on dates with them…Begrudgingly of course. She didn’t like being called out.
So I asked her, “Okay so if you would go on dates with them, does that mean you would go on one with me? Or do your “standards” only apply to hot guys?”
She said “you scare me a little” (even tho I’ve made literally no threats.. I’ve never hit a woman, I have a clean record and I just got out of an 11 month relationship)
Do girls just say crap like that to rile you up, and as a socially valid excuse to reject you without looking mean? – Source
When she said that he scared her, she meant he scared her. He was calling her out for her own opinion and beliefs, and telling her that she was wrong because they didn’t line up with his, and – yes, that is scary.
From her point of view, she thinks: If he’s telling me that I’m wrong now, what will he tell me when he really gets to know me?
What’s Scary Look Like?
Don’t want to appear scary around women? Avoid the following behaviors.
Not showing emotions: It is human nature to have emotions. You may be tempted to try to keep it cool, but if you hide your emotions too well – that will appear scary. Take the guy in the following video…he would be scary.
Needy behavior: If you are being needy before you go on your first date, or on your first few dates, that’s scary. No woman wants to get into a relationship with a guy who needs to be entertained all the time by her. Even hint at neediness and she may call you out.
Possessive behavior: A woman is not a possession, she is a human being. If you act possessive over her, then that’s scary. That includes demanding that she hang out with you and not other people, acting sulky when she wants to do things with other people and not you, and trying to control what she does or doesn’t do (like in the example above where the guy was trying to control how she used Tinder!)
Focusing on sex: There are some women who are looking for sex, and they will likely make it clear from the beginning, but most women are not. There are many women who have been used for sex, and they know that some guys are just coming onto them to get laid and then ditch them. Plus women are scared of being judged by guys who call them sluts after consensual sex. So, most women are very careful around a guy who is totally focused on sex, and if it seems to be the focal point, forcefulness and rape are two things all women think about. SCARY!
Making Up Stuff: There is something about lying that is scary – especially in the beginning. Personally, I think that someone who can make up stuff in an instant and lie easily has the potential to be very scary. My neighbor lied to me the first time I met him (and the second, and the third, and the fourth…) and I find him very creepy. I’m not sure of his intentions or what he is really thinking, and I just find him totally weird.
So, if a woman calls you scary – take it at face value and – possibly, consider how you act around women in the future.
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