Being single for too long can mess with your mind. If you’re starting to become anxious or depressed about being single, then following are some things to remember.
1. Not Everyone Is Like Your Ex-Girlfriend
Just because you had a bad relationship with your ex, doesn’t mean all women are like your ex. It may be true that you are only seeing women that are like your ex, though! Why? Because what we focus on is what we see.
When you think about a certain type of woman (like your ex), then you are going to see her everywhere. It’s just like if you think about a certain type of car. You are going to see that car everywhere!
It’s time to stop thinking about what your ex was like and think about what you want. The more you put your focus on what you want, the more likely you will be able to see it and find it.
2. No, You Probably Shouldn’t Go Back To Your Ex-Girlfriend
everyone i know is always hooked on their ex, to find someone cute with no prior relationship is like finding a unicorn.
— SUPMIKECHECK (@SupMikecheck) May 4, 2016
So many people (both men and women) are so hooked on their ex that they are blind to the possibilities that are in front of them. I get it. When you are single for too long, your ex starts to look really good. You know them. You know how to interact with them. You don’t have to wine and dine them too much first because you’ve been there and done that. But, it’s a bad idea.
Most relationships don’t work the second time around either. There are reasons you broke up, and if those reasons are still there, then you will end up exactly where you were before. The relationship might be fun in the beginning, but do you really want to go through another breakup with your ex? Why put yourself through that again? Look for a woman who has more of what you want.
3. Dating Takes Time (If You Want To Find Someone Special)
If you are starting to feel desperate, that’s a sign that you could start to rush into things. If you rush into things, you are going to miss all those red flags that tell you that new woman is not your type, not worth your time, or is going to cause you a lot of heartaches!
Keep in mind that even though you’ve been single for a while, you still have to take some time to find the right woman. You have to date her, get to know her, and THEN decide if she is the right one. If you don’t, you could be in for an unhappy relationship that results in you being single again – soon.
4. Relationships Can Be Stressful Too
Being in a committed relationship can help relieve stress.
— What The F*** Facts (@WhatTheFFacts) April 3, 2016
Yes, being single for a long time is stressful, and you hear a lot about how committed relationships are much less stressful – like in the above tweet. But being in a really bad relationship for a long time is ultra-stressful.
The point is that the grass always seems greener on the other side, but many people in relationships are not happy either. They are fighting, stuck, and wanting out. Don’t pretend that all relationships are better than being single, because they are not.
Note: That’s why it’s so important to date and take your time to find a woman that meets your needs, wants, and desires. If you rush into a shitty relationship, then you are moving from one stressful state to another.
5. You Don’t Have To Love Single Life, But You Have To Accept It
Nobody says that you must love being single. You don’t have to love it. You don’t have to think it’s better than being in a relationship. But you do have to accept that you are single. If you can’t accept that you are living a single life, right now, then you are going to drive yourself insane. You are going to become desperate, or you are going to become bitter – either way, things are going to end badly.
6. Some People Are Jealous Of YOU
You may feel jealous of your friends who are in a relationship or that couple who constantly holds hands, but a lot of people are jealous of you. They are jealous of your ability to do what you want when you want to do it. They are jealous of you not having to fight, compromise, or share. They are jealous that you get to make decisions based on what you want, not on what you and your partner wants. They may not tell you that they are jealous, but believe me, some people are.
7. You Have To Try To Find Someone
Don’t give up on Love, give in to Love. #DailyLove
— Mastin Kipp (@TheDailyLove) May 30, 2015
This is one of the important things to remember after being single for too long. You may get into a routine where you don’t like going out anymore. You may think that it’s not worth your time to try to find someone anymore, and say things like “I will never find someone anyway!” But, if you don’t try, you don’t know.
You have to put yourself out there. You have to go out and mingle. You have to ask women out. You have to get on dating sites and search for women you like. You have to put in the effort to get the results. That’s how finding love works. If you don’t, you will be single for a lot longer because the chances of a woman falling in your lap are very slim!
8. You Must Be Willing To Adapt If You Want A Relationship
After being single for too long, you can get used to your way of life. You don’t want to compromise. You don’t want to have to change yourself or your life in any way. But relationships are about compromise.
A relationship consists of two people working together in life. Those two people are not going to be totally alike, but if they can’t compromise on the big and small decisions, then they are not going to work out. Don’t even get stuck in one way of doing things. When you get stuck, you won’t be able to compromise the way you need to, and that’s going to keep you from doing the things that help you get into a healthy and happy relationship.
9. You Are Not Alone – Even If You Feel Lonely
This is definitely one of the important things to remember after being single for too long. When you focus on how lonely you are, you can start to feel alone. But there are billions of people around you. At last count, there are 7.123 billion people on the planet.
In other words, there are tons of people around you. If you are not interacting with them, then that’s on you. Maybe you are not willing to make friends or are too critical of other people or don’t want other people around you…but, there is a reason you are alone. There is no excuse to be alone in this life.
10. Bitter And Single Looks Ugly On You
Being single for a long time can turn you bitter. You can become mean towards women and have a very ugly opinion of them. Do you think that’s going to help you attract women into your life? Hell no! Women can sense your bitterness from a mile away.
Being bitter makes you unattractive to everyone. Nobody wants to surround themselves with a bitter person.
Moreover, being bitter affects your perception of women. Remember, when you focus on what you don’t want, you see it everywhere! How can you find the right woman you are focused on your bitterness towards them?
11. Happiness Comes From Within
I know, you’ve probably heard this before, but that’s because it’s true! After being single and unhappy for too long, you may think that the only way you can be happy is with a woman. But, happiness comes from within. If you are not happy right now, then no woman is going to change that. Happiness stems from your beliefs, perceptions, and actions in life, not from having a woman by your side.
12. You ARE Good Enough
One of the things to remember is that you are good enough, even if you haven’t been able to find a woman for a long time. Being single doesn’t make you worthless. It just makes you single!
Don’t place your value on your ability to find the right woman. Place it on what you do each day, how you treat people, what you think, and what you contribute. That’s where the real value in you lives.
13. Your Beliefs Matter!
Sometimes we start to think are beliefs are solid and real. But they are just beliefs. They can be changed to fit our current life, and sometimes, they SHOULD be changed!
- If you believe you suck, then you will do sucky things.
- If you believe women are all jerks, then you will find jerky women.
- If you believe that you are not meant to be in a relationship, then you will do things to keep yourself out of a relationship!
Your beliefs dictate your perception and your actions in life. Make sure your beliefs are helping you, not hurting you.
14. There’s No Such Thing As Being Single For Too Long
There’s no right time to be in a relationship. There’s no right time to be married. There’s no length of time that is too long to be single. It’s all about you – how you feel, what you are doing, and what’s happening in your life. You are not Bob or John; you are you. And, you are going to be single for as long as it takes to find a woman who makes you happy. Happy relationships start from all periods of life.
15. Your Next Relationship Is Going To Be Amazing
After being single for too long, you can lose hope on ever having a happy relationship. Don’t let yourself do that. Always have an expectation that your next relationship is going to be fun, full of love, and full of happiness. I have seen it over and over again in life – you attract what you focus on the most. If you are focused on a strong and loving relationship, then there is a good chance that you will attract that into your life.