The 5 Worst Things You Can Do To An Ex-Girlfriend After A Breakup

The 5 Worst Things You Can Do After A Breakup

A breakup is one of the hardest things to go through in life. Some experts say that going through a breakup is similar to overcoming an addiction, and anyone who has been through a breakup or two knows that this is true. It’s painful, it causes your emotions to go all over the place, and you lose your mind for a while.

I have talked about the issues behind getting revenge on a cheating ex-girlfriend on this site, and I absolutely think that it is pointless to do so, but I want to make it clear exactly what I mean by revenge. So, let’s talk about some things that may come to your mind initially after a breakup.

1. Post Nude or Personal Pictures or Videos to Malicious Sites

Post Nude or Unflattering Pictures or Videos to Malicious SitesChances are good that you have nude pictures or video of your ex-girlfriend that don’t exactly make her look great. Posting these kinds of pictures or videos is called revenge porn, and in some places you can be criminally charged if you get caught and your ex-girlfriend takes action against you.

But, as I just said, emotions can be high during a breakup and you may think crazy things like, “What’s some time in jail if I can make her feel horrible and turn her life upside down?”

The truth is a lot.

You will have a huge impact on your life now and in the future. You will affect your future with other women, jobs, and even your self-esteem negatively. And, the more you look at the picture, the more you will hold on to the breakup and have a hard time letting go of her in your life.

Why torture yourself like that?

In short, you may turn her life upside down in a negative way, but your whole life will turn upside down too.

2. Destroy Her Furniture or Personal Stuff

If you lived together or spent a lot of time together, then you will have some of her stuff at the time of your breakup. Some of it is crappy stuff, like a toothbrush, and some of it is more personal stuff. Whatever stuff you have – crappy or not – give it back to her.

Many guys end up burning, breaking, or destroying their ex-girlfriend’s stuff immediately after the breakup, because – well, it is easy to do and can provide a temporary feeling of satisfaction. It’s there and it allows you a way to take out your negative emotions in a very physical way.

From a woman’s standpoint, losing stuff that had a lot of meaning can be devastating. I had an ex-boyfriend destroy some furniture of mine that was passed down from my grandparents. Mind you I didn’t do anything horrible to him, I just had enough of his lying and gathered the courage to leave him. The pain that I felt from that act made me HATE my ex-boyfriend, and to this day I will not give him the time of day because of it. In fact, he tried to reach out to me years after, and I shut him down instantly.

In short, if you don’t want your ex-girlfriend out of your life forever (or if you are not sure whether you will want her in your life again) then do no destroy anything of hers.

3. Leave Her With Your Debt

I had a friend whose boyfriend couldn’t afford to buy a truck he wanted and he couldn’t get any credit, so she got the truck under her name with his promise to pay it off.

No contracts were signed because they were in a relationship, and when he left her, he took the car and left the debt. To this day she struggles with her credit because she couldn’t afford to keep up with that debt.

If you have debt under her name, be a man and pay it off.

It may feel good to leave her with it and affect her life negatively, but one of the things that you have to be accountable for in life is your debt. When you put your debt into someone else’s hands, you are pretty much saying that you are not capable of looking after yourself in this life – and that impression leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth and could even affect the way you view yourself.

4. Act Desperate To Get Her Back

Obessessing Over Ex-Girlfriend After BreakupAfter a breakup your feelings are intense, and if you really want your ex-girlfriend back, then that can cause you to do some desperate things and minimize who you are as a person just to win her back.

For instance:

  • Calling her drunk and begging her to come back to you
  • Showing up at her work and making a scene
  • Going to her friend’s or family’s home and making a scene
  • Promising her that you will do anything to win her back
  • Changing the way you look, think, or act to win her back
  • Stalking her on Facebook, Twitter, and elsewhere all day and every day

If you get desperate, and give all of your control over to your to your ex-girlfriend, there is a chance that she could use that power against you, especially if she was mean, controlling, and didn’t care much about you and your needs.

In other words, she could make your life miserable for longer if you act desperately and try to win her back. She can control your life and try to make you become someone you are not, and you will feel that lie penetrating your very soul as you move forward.

There is nothing worse than not being allowed to be yourself.

I’ve seen this go on for months, years, and even a lifetime. Once you give her the power to control your every move, it can be hard to get that power back until you breakup again.

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5. Talk Bad About Your Ex-Girlfriend to Friends, Family, or Acquaintances

Maybe you don’t plan on posting pictures for strangers to see, but maybe you want to make her look bad to the people who know her best.

  • You can let everyone know some of her bad habits or secrets
  • You can tell everyone how bad she was in bed
  • You can let other guys know the most embarrassing things about her so that nobody would ever want to date her again

There are a ton of things you can do. I’m SURE you can think of a few.

Even though it may make you feel better, it also makes you look like an insecure jerk that has to put your ex-girlfriend down in order to feel better about yourself.

Your friends, family, and acquaintances will lose some respect for you as they listen to you yammer on about her faults, disgusting habits, and horrible ways.

And if she ever hears that you spilled on the most embarrassing things that she would never tell her best friend, you run the risk of her trying to take revenge on you. When that happens, get ready for a long time of being tied to your ex-girlfriend in a very negative way.

What To Do Instead?

  • Do none of the above 5 things
  • You can call her all the names you want in private
  • You can pretend like you are hurting her in the above ways and feel the satisfaction of it
  • You can stay at home and lock yourself away from the world for a few days

And then, as your emotions get less intense, you can figure out whether you want to move on for good or try to win her back. Either way, your future will be much less dramatic and MUCH happier.

Note: I want to give a big shout out to  Phil Turner from Understand Your Relationship for inspiring me to write this article!

  • Sadly, I see pathetic men doing all of these things. And worse!

    My stepson has destroyed my daughter by turning the two sons against her, telling them she is sleeping around, an alcoholic and worse. One son won’t speak to her or see her. The other (13 yrs old) is violent and abusive, just as the stepson was.

    • I’m sorry to hear that. The element of kids can take things to a whole other level.

  • I have one worse, for me anyway, than all 5 of these. My ex boyfriend had the nerve to threaten bodily harm to my, at the time 3-year-old son, when he hadn’t done anything to him. To be more precise, He broke up with me 3 days after Christmas 2013, then decided he screwed up and wanted me back. I wanted him back too but I told him it wouldn’t happen until he worked out some issues that he had, and we talked off and on over the next 5 months. However, I got sick and tired of the back and forth wishy washy stuff and finally cut him off completely. A few weeks later, he and his new girlfriend started attacking me over Twitter. I told him to stop or I’d press harassment charges and his response was “You threaten me again I’ll send someone over there to beat the fuck out of your dickhead son psycho cunt”. That is a direct quote. Anyone who knows us will say he was entirely responsible for the breakup, but even if he weren’t, I don’t care what you think of someone. You never ever ever ever threaten their child!

    • I agree Amanda. You should never threaten a child. I know things are often said in anger, but there is a definite line that you can’t cross. I hope he left you alone after that.

  • Andrew

    My ex girlfriend and i broke up 6 weeks ago but shes involved her whole family and im now receiving calls and texts with threats, hell even death threats, all because I found out she was cheating on me for over a year, all because I cant give her kids due to a medical condition and she is lying to everyone to try and get to me

    • Make sure you call the police if you feel threatened. I learned a long time ago that it’s better to have their threats on record for your safety, and possibly they may leave you alone if they feel they are in legal trouble.

  • David Penna

    I was living with my partner for some time, her visa was due to run out so she decided to go home and then return within a few months. While she was away we spoke all the time and kept in touch by email and messages. She told me how she loved me and could not wait to be back with me, I live in a small town and enjoyed telling everyone who cared to listen about how we were making plans together.
    The few months turned to a year and then by the time she had flown back into the country I discovered she had been seeing someone else, it turned out she had been seeing him for years. I was heart broken, embarrassed and angry.
    All I want is for her to feel the pain I felt. I have since done things in the above list and I will be honest it has made me feel better, or at least that’s what I thought. Maybe I need to start looking at myself.

    • Not long ago, I heard someone say this: “I am strong enough to trust you until you give me reason not to, and strong enough to move on from you and live my life on my own terms, not yours.” If you are doing stuff do get revenge, then you are living for her. You are doing things because of her. You are spending time thinking about her. You are giving her more time than she deserves. She already got a lot of your time, don’t give her anymore.

  • What if your ex gf was reall a cheating , selfish piece pf shit who kept all your stuff, even your mother sapphire,and your mother passed away? Or blamed you and called police bc her can was tagged amd you werent even in the state? I have done nothing of the sort, all I did was tell the truth, she was a hurtful,stuk up bitch,who walks on everyone and lets scumbags use her and calls them “friends”

    • You can’t choose how other people act, you can only choose how you react. I’m sorry you lost your mother’s sapphire, but don’t let this woman ruin your life anymore by focusing on her. As long as you stay mad at her, she is controlling your emotions and, in part, your life.

  • James

    My ex dumped me and then used me to feel better when he’s new boyfriend wasn’t around, she cheated on him with me and told me that she didn’t want to let me go. But the next day she made him a birthday dinner and I just couldn’t handle it and exploded telling her awful things like that she was a shitty person, selfish and stupid for having sex with me. Four days later I apologised for what I said and told her that I was really sorry but the only thing I’ve ever wanted was an answer of her. She blocked me out of everything and I haven’t tried to reach her out again, also after we broke I respected her decision and was polite when she reached me out, but I just couldn’t handle it anymore Did I do wrong on the apology?

    • You did what you felt was right at the time with the apology, but I’m glad you blew up at her! She was using you, and you let her know that it’s not OK to treat you like that! Now that she can’t walk all over you, she isn’t interested anymore, which is a good thing. From this point forward, make it clear to yourself that you won’t be used like that anymore, that will keep you from apologizing again when you have absolutely nothing to apologize for!

  • Nav

    Me and my ex had a good relation. But then I went to crisis of jobless for 6 months my parents took care of me and my expenses. Then I wanted to start college so moved to my ex city because of the study I quit in between to start again and finish it. But she saw me and report to police that I have been stalker to her. Her mom texted me you upset her really bad. Her dad is mad at you. So had to report to police. I said it must be a coincident but after breakup I didn’t contacted her then why would I stalk her. That day I just emailed her and apologized that it was a coincident but if I hurt your feeling I am sorry. It’s like a month now no contact with her. So I did right or wrong by apologizing

    • No, you needed to tell her that it was a coincidence and you were not stalking her so she would know; however, why do you care anymore? She thinks you are a stalker, so the best thing to do is leave her alone and get her out of your life. Assuming you didn’t give her any reason to think you were stalking her, then she’s a little bit nuts to assume that. And, if you did give her a reason to think that you are stalking her, then you really need to let the idea of her go before you do something that gets you in a lot of trouble.

      • NAV

        The thing was she thought as I knew her daily schedule so I got there for a purpose. And I think that where she assumed that I been stalking her. Letting her go is going to be hard. But I guess I have no options left. I have to move on.