A breakup is one of the hardest things to go through in life. Some experts say that going through a breakup is similar to overcoming an addiction, and anyone who has been through a breakup or two knows that this is true. It’s painful, it causes your emotions to go all over the place, and you lose your mind for a while.
I have talked about the issues behind getting revenge on a cheating ex-girlfriend on this site, and I absolutely think that it is pointless to do so, but I want to make it clear exactly what I mean by revenge. So, let’s talk about some things that may come to your mind initially after a breakup.
1. Post Nude or Personal Pictures or Videos to Malicious Sites
Chances are good that you have nude pictures or video of your ex-girlfriend that don’t exactly make her look great. Posting these kinds of pictures or videos is called revenge porn, and in some places you can be criminally charged if you get caught and your ex-girlfriend takes action against you.
But, as I just said, emotions can be high during a breakup and you may think crazy things like, “What’s some time in jail if I can make her feel horrible and turn her life upside down?”
The truth is a lot.
You will have a huge impact on your life now and in the future. You will affect your future with other women, jobs, and even your self-esteem negatively. And, the more you look at the picture, the more you will hold on to the breakup and have a hard time letting go of her in your life.
Why torture yourself like that?
In short, you may turn her life upside down in a negative way, but your whole life will turn upside down too.
2. Destroy Her Furniture or Personal Stuff
If you lived together or spent a lot of time together, then you will have some of her stuff at the time of your breakup. Some of it is crappy stuff, like a toothbrush, and some of it is more personal stuff. Whatever stuff you have – crappy or not – give it back to her.
Many guys end up burning, breaking, or destroying their ex-girlfriend’s stuff immediately after the breakup, because – well, it is easy to do and can provide a temporary feeling of satisfaction. It’s there and it allows you a way to take out your negative emotions in a very physical way.
From a woman’s standpoint, losing stuff that had a lot of meaning can be devastating. I had an ex-boyfriend destroy some furniture of mine that was passed down from my grandparents. Mind you I didn’t do anything horrible to him, I just had enough of his lying and gathered the courage to leave him. The pain that I felt from that act made me HATE my ex-boyfriend, and to this day I will not give him the time of day because of it. In fact, he tried to reach out to me years after, and I shut him down instantly.
In short, if you don’t want your ex-girlfriend out of your life forever (or if you are not sure whether you will want her in your life again) then do no destroy anything of hers.
3. Leave Her With Your Debt
I had a friend whose boyfriend couldn’t afford to buy a truck he wanted and he couldn’t get any credit, so she got the truck under her name with his promise to pay it off.
No contracts were signed because they were in a relationship, and when he left her, he took the car and left the debt. To this day she struggles with her credit because she couldn’t afford to keep up with that debt.
If you have debt under her name, be a man and pay it off.
It may feel good to leave her with it and affect her life negatively, but one of the things that you have to be accountable for in life is your debt. When you put your debt into someone else’s hands, you are pretty much saying that you are not capable of looking after yourself in this life – and that impression leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth and could even affect the way you view yourself.
4. Act Desperate To Get Her Back
After a breakup your feelings are intense, and if you really want your ex-girlfriend back, then that can cause you to do some desperate things and minimize who you are as a person just to win her back.
- Calling her drunk and begging her to come back to you
- Showing up at her work and making a scene
- Going to her friend’s or family’s home and making a scene
- Promising her that you will do anything to win her back
- Changing the way you look, think, or act to win her back
- Stalking her on Facebook, Twitter, and elsewhere all day and every day
If you get desperate, and give all of your control over to your to your ex-girlfriend, there is a chance that she could use that power against you, especially if she was mean, controlling, and didn’t care much about you and your needs.
In other words, she could make your life miserable for longer if you act desperately and try to win her back. She can control your life and try to make you become someone you are not, and you will feel that lie penetrating your very soul as you move forward.
There is nothing worse than not being allowed to be yourself.
I’ve seen this go on for months, years, and even a lifetime. Once you give her the power to control your every move, it can be hard to get that power back until you breakup again.
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5. Talk Bad About Your Ex-Girlfriend to Friends, Family, or Acquaintances
Maybe you don’t plan on posting pictures for strangers to see, but maybe you want to make her look bad to the people who know her best.
- You can let everyone know some of her bad habits or secrets
- You can tell everyone how bad she was in bed
- You can let other guys know the most embarrassing things about her so that nobody would ever want to date her again
There are a ton of things you can do. I’m SURE you can think of a few.
Even though it may make you feel better, it also makes you look like an insecure jerk that has to put your ex-girlfriend down in order to feel better about yourself.
Your friends, family, and acquaintances will lose some respect for you as they listen to you yammer on about her faults, disgusting habits, and horrible ways.
And if she ever hears that you spilled on the most embarrassing things that she would never tell her best friend, you run the risk of her trying to take revenge on you. When that happens, get ready for a long time of being tied to your ex-girlfriend in a very negative way.
What To Do Instead?
- Do none of the above 5 things
- You can call her all the names you want in private
- You can pretend like you are hurting her in the above ways and feel the satisfaction of it
- You can stay at home and lock yourself away from the world for a few days
And then, as your emotions get less intense, you can figure out whether you want to move on for good or try to win her back. Either way, your future will be much less dramatic and MUCH happier.
Note: I want to give a big shout out to Phil Turner from Understand Your Relationship for inspiring me to write this article!