9 Things Good Single Women Wish Good Men Knew

A woman telling a man something she wished he knew

I know a lot of men don’t believe that good women are out there, but we are! We are here, screaming at you to notice us, and hoping that we will attract some good men into our lives. What do we mean by good women? We mean women who are patient, understanding, supportive, smart, down to earth, and loyal.

Following are 9 things that good women want good men to know. I’m betting that some of these things will be a surprise to you, and many of them might help you understand how to get that good woman that you want.

1. Some Of Us Are Suspicious Of Good Guys

All those bad boys that we dated were not bad in the beginning! Some of them seemed like good guys who were going to treat us right and be there for us and love us until the end. We were actually surprised when they turned out to be complete assholes!

And some of the bad boys that we dated were guys we wanted to change. I know that it’s wrong, but that’s the way it is! We thought we could be the one woman who was so good and so amazing to them that they would drop their bad boy ways and convert into a good guy that we would spend our lives with. But, they didn’t, and we learned that the hard way.

Now, we are hesitant to get into relationships with seemingly good guys. We think that if they act good, it must be too good to be true, and eventually their cheating and dishonest side will come out and they will leave us alone at night as we wonder where they are and who they are with… and, well, that anxiety can keep us from dating a good guy.

2. We Wish You Knew Your Potential

How many good men have slipped through the cracks because they were scared of approaching a good woman? How many good men have stood on the sidelines as some jerk had the balls to approach me and get my number?

Many of us remember good guys from school and work that never even bothered to ask us out, let alone talk to us, and we wish they would have because we had secret crushes on them. Why didn’t we approach them? Because even though we could kind of see some interest from them, they made themselves so unavailable to us that we felt uncomfortable even approaching them.

It seems like a lot of good men have given up on getting a good woman. They see her, but they don’t believe in themselves enough to approach her and engage her. They let the jerk get in front, be louder, make more moves, and eventually get the date, which causes them to lose out in the end.

3. We Feel Like You Don’t Want Good Women

Single Girls Wish Good Men KnewA lot of good women think that they are unwanted by all men, including good men. There is so much talk about the bad, sexy girl.

They are the ones that guys drool over.

They are the ones that guys write great comments about or whistle at and seem to want the most.

They are the ones that all guys talk to first and, to be honest, they even talk to them differently than they talk to us good girls.

How can we stack up to women out there who have that bad girl persona that, quite frankly, us good women don’t want to have!

Moreover, we hear about all these men who are in shitty relationships with these bad women, and we know that they are falling head over heels for them while we are standing here waiting for a good man like them to come into our lives. So many men complain that they are used by women, but all we can think about is ‘Stop choosing the bad ones!’

We don’t want to have to flirt with every guy that comes our way and show off our boobs and do our hair perfectly and do our makeup and eat lettuce every day and act silly, dumb, or over-confident in order to get the guys. In the end, we feel like we are not going to live up to those types of girls, so we don’t try with a lot of the good guys that we actually like.

4. You Need To Show Us Your Good Qualities For Us To See You

Ask any woman how many good men they have known in their life and they will likely be able to count them on one hand… maybe two. According to good women, good men are lacking! The women who have it all together, who don’t want to play games, who are intelligent, and who just want a man who can love them and they can love back, are not finding good men anywhere! That’s why you will hear sayings like ‘where have all the good men gone?’ or ‘all the good men are taken!’

If you want good women to know that you are out there, you have to approach them and show them your good qualities. All they see is another man coming towards them, and since most of them are pretty bad, they assume that’s what they are dealing with. Especially if you come across as arrogant or rude in any way.

5. We Want You To Be Honest

We don’t want you to pretend to be someone you are not to try to win us over. We want to know that you are a good guy, right from the start, and we want to know what you have to offer us. If we do fall for you, and you turn out to be someone completely different than who we met, then, of course, we are going to be turned off! It has nothing to do with the fact that your good side is coming out or that the tricks and games some dumb dating guru taught you has been used up and you can’t ‘live up’ to the man that women want… it has everything to do with the fact that you were dishonest! When you are dishonest, you lose trust. It doesn’t matter if you were dishonest just on the first date or on the first 30 dates, you are squashing our ability to trust you, and it doesn’t matter how good you are, you look like a jerk in our eyes.

6. We Want You To Express Your Feelings

Bad guys have a way of saying exactly what they think women want to hear in the beginning, and then they say all the wrong things after they hook us into their life. Technically, a lot of the things they tell us are things that a good guy actually feels.

  • I want a real long-term, healthy relationship
  • You are the most beautiful woman in the world
  • I only have eyes for you
  • I like a woman who is smart and sophisticated

In fact, I can name a few bad ex-boyfriends that told me all those things in the beginning, and even when they were mistreating me in some way! They ALWAYS tell you what you want to hear to keep you hooked in the relationship, but they don’t really mean it. They have their own agenda, but they know that we women just want to hear those positive feelings about us.

If you are a good guy, then you will appreciate a good woman. So make sure you tell her why you appreciate her.

7. Some Of Us Are Very Bitter

A lot of good women are damaged from all the jerks have put them through. They have lost respect for men and become very bitter about all men. They are not even willing to consider the fact that there are good men out there because they have been so hurt and so stepped on and so mistreated that they can’t see past their belief that all men are bad.

How can you get through to a bitter, but good woman? By showing her that you are truly a good man. This means patience, commitment, and time. It means connecting with her without pressure to get into a relationship right away. It means proving that you are a good man that she can trust. When she can see it, her belief about men will be changed, and you have a good chance with her.

8. Sometimes We Are Jerks

Good women, like bad women, have a monthly visitor, and sometimes all of our goodness and rationality can be thrown out the window as our hormones take over. This can put us into a mood where we don’t seem like a very good woman.

If we happen to meet you during this time, or if you happen to finally approach us during this time, whatever comes out of our mouth has more to do with the way our emotions are affecting us than it does with you. Seriously, you can’t understand the emotional roller coaster some of us go through at this time, and it can make us short-tempered, annoyed, cynical, and rude.

If we seem like a good woman most of the time, then we are. So please don’t give up on us if you are interested.

9. We Have Angry Ex Boyfriends That Will Paint Us Ugly!

If you’ve heard a guy that we dated talk bad about us, and it doesn’t seem to match up to what you see when you hang around us, then he’s probably angry and making stuff up about us. It seems that when a bad guy loses a good woman, he smartens up and realizes it. Usually, he tries to get us back, and sometimes we fall for his promises and lies, but often we just tell him that we are too good for him and we have finally figured it out. Of course he’s going to badmouth us at that point. We just told him that he sucked!

For example, one good woman I know had dated a couple jerks at a place she worked where there were thousands of employees. Unfortunately, those jerks had spread so many rumors about her that when she finally met a good man there, he was told how horrible she was and she was painted in a light that not many men would look past. But he did. He got to know her and quickly realized that she was not only a good woman, she was the best woman he had ever met. He dated her, married her, and he’s still with her.

So, give us a chance. Don’t believe other people. Get to know us first before you label us.

  • Omega Man

    Ah yes, the Good Woman. Too many of these Good Men you pine for end up in the friend zone or are otherwise shut out of the lives of these so called Good Women. When the Good Man sees the Good Woman reject him and go for the Harley McBadboy, he will change his tune pretty quickly.

    When I was growing up, the wisdom was that you have to treat women like $H!T because they love it. Well guess what, that ‘modus operandi’ worked then and it continues to work now. As for the Good Men not approaching the Good Woman, well too many of us got hurt badly as well. The nuclear rejection meted out in front of friends and strangers, is a humiliation that not many men willing put themselves through. Better to stand back and do nothing rather than let another woman hurt you.
    After a few rejections, that were thermo-nuclear, I simply stopped approaching women altogether. My entire 20s were spent in what is now called the MGTOW lifestyle, and while I’ve now been married to a Good Woman for more than 25 years those years alone still haunt.

    Most men want to love a good woman and to be loved by her in turn. That is it! No less, no more.

  • Phillip

    There are no good women; only ones that haven’t gotten caught being bad yet.


    Now let me see! If I show her patience plus commitment plus time , then I get FRIENDZONE!!!!!
    Gee, that’s fair!

  • The Serious Truth

    It is just too very bad that many of us Good Single men out there now just Can’t Connect with the Good Single women today which would be Great if that were to happen.

  • Sum Guy

    Good Women, Good People period, are hard to find as well. I find that many women who consider themselves “Good Women” really are not. A Good Woman (Person) can disagree or even fight without taking it as an opportunity to make a personal attack. A Good Woman (Person) is never condescending. A Good Woman will reciprocate all the points above and will understand a Good Man has faced his version of bad women. Most women say they are independent, self-aware, and secure; when in reality they are let down if you taking care of them materially and emotionally does not become your obsession and they are shocked (and/or disgusted) if you ask for similar support. Most people (men included) lack a level of self-awareness to know what is really important to them as judged by when they “have it” they feel content and if they don’t they work towards it and do not whine. It could be that they also don’t want to admit or face that what they really want is a “lifestyle provider” (not a person, a partner) and cannot admit it because they know how shallow that is.

  • Raul

    Ok. I see women self sabotage them selfs. I have an example. Im a good guy who respects him self and women. I asked this girl to a coffee break She was amazing fun smart, with good morals. So i asked her on a date the next day. She agreed. Im a guy who does not waste time, i had girls string me along for weeks and nothing happened. I made my intentions known, she tells me out of nowhere she only sees me as a friend. It hurt, but i understand you cant force things. She was fun as hell so i agreed to be friends. We started going out with her friends. Im very sociable and funny they all loved me. I started flirting with a girl at a bar. My new friend came and took me away to help her with something. I sensed some jelousy. I talked to her about what happen. She said we are friends only. I got a girl friend a few months later. She invited me to her house and try to seduce me. I knew then she had a crush on me, but was not honest with herself and me. I told her we can not be friends for her own good. I saw her as a dumb child. My attraction for her was gone. I felt sorry for her later.

  • Eoin Brennan

    Some good insights there to be fair. I have met good women, a lot of them and to be honest when it comes right down to it, they just want to be loved more than anything else. This theory about women being gold diggers is nonsense, women would rather be loved and broke than rich and not cared for. Kindness aswell………..kindness is like crack cocaine to women. If you are genuinely kind to her she will fall in love with you. And not a manipulative kindness where you are putting on an act, but really being kind to her. I remember I was on a night out and this girl I was talking to had just been dumped by her boyfriend that same night. She said something negative about her looks…or I had thought she had, but in reality I had just misheard her. Anyway I told her that she was really pretty. She blushed like crazy and just lit up instantly. I wasnt trying to get with her, I meant what I said and I didnt expect anything in return. She was like all over me after that. In the blink of an eye we went from friendly conversation to her wanting me to take her back to her place and…….Anyway be kind, like really kind and not expect anything in return.

    • Paul

      You clearly have never experienced a gold digger. I’ve experienced a gold digger and they are amazing at first, nice girls don’t hold a candle to these women. Nice girls have no chance if there is a gold digger in the room. All guys naturally are drawn to the gold diggers. Yes they exist and sadly they destroy many guys which in turn make those guys bitter. But gold diggers are not the worst, they go as quick as they come when they realise you can’t provide their needs, no there is a far more dangerous type which completely destroy men if they don’t get out in time. I’m talking about the borderline personality women or bpd, these women are truely dangerous. There are borderline men who are equally dangerous to women. Why? because both male and female versions will suck you in like no one else can do, make youbfeel you met your life partner and you think its too good to be true and then, they spit you out while causing so much emotional damage people can spend years in therapy from the destruction they bring. They then just walk of and leave you to pick up the broken pieces of your heart. I’ve seen both men and women have their lives destroyed by these people.

      There are good, great people out there who deserve to find a partner.
      But the idea love and kindness can turn any women into loving you is hopelessly naive and wishful thinking. There is a reason why there are so many games played by men and women. To allow yourself to give yourself completely to someone without expectation is the greatest gift you can offer a person in life but the game is to filter out those who will treat that gift like an expectation without respect or feeling.

      In my own experience most women want to feel safe and protected, to be cared for and looked after. To know that their man is the rock they can rely on. Men want to have loyalty first and foremost because they want to protect and care for their partner.

      To many people buy into Disney films when they are young and never grow out of that fantasy. You want to find a good person for yourself then be yourself, be happy with who you are, love yourself first and foremost and then you will attract the right person for you at exactly the right time in your life.

      The harder the struggle, the greater the reward at the end… most of the time 🙂 peace to all of you.

  • FromTheHeart789

    Good men are burned out on rejection.
    Good women want good men…unfortunately, now good men just want to be better

  • Matt Brown

    The problem good women is that good men don’t trust that your actually good because very few women are willing to put effort into proving they are good. The other problem is that contrary to what women say, a lot of good women have no idea how to show interest in a man so they don’t, or they come off as too promiscuous, both of which will turn off a good man.