Interview: Why I Never “Dated” For A Long Time And How I Found My Current Love

Single To Falling In Love

This blog gets a lot of comments from guys who think they will never find love. They believe that they are destined to be single forever, but as I’ve talked about on this blog – beliefs like that are limiting you from having the dating life that you want.

It’s important to believe in the possibility of falling in love and the reality of happiness each day despite what is happening in your life. Doing so will help you get rid of your old beliefs that get you stuck in a shitty and self-defeating state.

A positive belief system will also encourage you to do the things that will help you find someone and see opportunities when they come knocking on your door.

How can you change your beliefs?

  • You can change the way you talk to yourself (This can be hard!)
  • You can become more open-minded (This takes reading, education, and experience)
  • You can take physical action on things that help challenge your beliefs (Everyone can do this – just do it!)
  • You can continuously educate yourself to help open up new ideas and possibilities in your life (Everyone can do this – learn one new thing each day that works to your advantage.)

Or, you can listen to people who have been there and done that who offer proof that finding love is possible. That’s why I’m starting a new interview series with men who have been single and looking, struggled in some way, and ended up finding love anyways.

Interview With Phil Turner

Following is an interview with Phil Turner.

I’ve known him for a little while, and I can tell you that he’s a funny, intelligent, and kind man.

And, I think his experience is quite relatable for a lot of older men who met someone when they were young and found themselves suddenly single and looking later on in life.

Q. Talk About The Struggles You Went Through As A Single Man

My marriage ended in 2000 – I had never “dated” in my life, having met my wife at college.

I took up various sports including dragonboat paddling and Tai Chi. I found women to date at both activities, though none worked out.

I joined a dating website and met a local woman, but after 2 dates it died. I had offers of marriage from Thailand, Russia and Chile. I was inundated with apparently genuine requests to chat. Dating sites now are full of fakes, 15 years ago it was less so.

Q. At What Age Did You Finally Meet Your Current Girlfriend or Wife?


Q. The Story Of How You Met And Fell In Love?

We met on the dating site, instant chat and emails. Voices are important to me so I offered to phone her up (in Ireland – I was in UK). She was cautious and rang me instead.

We phoned regularly for a few weeks then arranged to meet near Dublin – I got a day trip on the ferry from UK. We hit it off instantly and I changed my ferry booking to go back the next day.

Q. Any Advice For Single Guys Looking For Love?

Stop trying so hard. Be yourself and you are likely to find someone who likes that person, provided you take reasonable care of yourself and don’t fart in public. Do things that you enjoy doing – the chances are that you will meet a woman if you stop making “Meeting a Woman” your top priority in life.

Thanks for sharing your story, Phil!

Note: If you have a story you want to share about being single and finding love, please go here and take part in the interview.

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