Should you ask a woman about her sexual past? And if she tells you, what does it mean for you? For the following guy, it means that he has lost trust in her and feels like he is less attractive than other guys that she was quicker to become sexual with.
Truth: Sexual Things Happen In Life
If you are alive and breathing, then sexuality is a part of your adult life. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman, most of us have the desire to get close like that with other people.
To get hung up on the fact that your girlfriend has a sexual past is like getting hung up on the fact that she has dated other guys. They are both a part of becoming an adult and experiencing and figuring out relationships.
Personally, I wouldn’t suggest talking about your sexual past or asking about hers. What’s done is done. Unless something happened that was traumatic for her, such as rape, and it is influencing her now, then there’s really no need to discuss the details about what she did with her long-term boyfriend or what she did with those random guys that she met and never saw again. It will NEVER sit well with you. Ever.
Why Would A Woman Move Quicker With Someone Else?
Part of this guy’s story is that he can’t help but think that she found the other guys more attractive and couldn’t help herself with them. That could be the case.
It could also be the case that she had too much to drink and wasn’t thinking right.
It could also be that the guys were sexually aggressive (not in a bad way, just in a sexually confident way) and it’s just the way things turned out.
- She could have felt pressured to do it.
- She could have been horny and didn’t see a relationship with them.
- She could have been curious.
But, it’s most likely that she respects this new guy and likes him more than the other guys and wants to make sure she doesn’t rush things and ruin it.
After all, her other long-term boyfriend had to wait 7 months for sex, which is a good sign that when she respects a guy and really wants to date him, she doesn’t throw sex into the mix quickly.
Most of the women I know, who want to be in a long-term relationship, will slow things down for a guy they really like. They have learned that if you rush things, it usually falls apart for one reason or another. So, taking things slower means more of a chance of things working out.
One of my friends says this about taking it slow:
If I really like a guy, I don’t want him to think I’m too needy or desperate. I just don’t want him to look at me like a woman that is too easy to get. I don’t play games with him, but I hold off on anything sexual for a while so that he can get to know me and I can get to know him without sex ruining things. I mean, if we are going to be together for a long time, we have to like each other without the sex, right?
If she slows things down for you while she normally rushes things with other guys, then that’s a good thing. As long as she seems interested, you are going out on dates, and she is responding to you well, then she likes you. She wants you to like her. And she is trying to do what she thinks will help the two of you connect and last.
What Does Her Sexual Past Mean For You?
As much or as little as you want it to.
If you read more into it than there is, then it will mean a lot to you. It will mean whatever your imagination or beliefs decide it means. Just like the guy in the above comment who now ‘can’t help but feel she is lying’. He can’t just take her word for how she feels because he is so focused on what he THINKS her past means to her.
He even THINKS that because she had sexual encounters with other guy friends, she may do it with her current guy friends. He is writing a story based on his beliefs and fears, and it may end up causing the end of a relationship that could have been pretty good.
If you find out some cold hard truths that you don’t like, then it may mean you need to find a way to let it go or else you will hold it over her head for the rest of your relationship.
But, if you can let it be what it is – a natural part of her making mistakes and learning what she wants, her sexual past could mean something that helped turn her into the woman she is today – just like your sexual past helped turn you into the man you are today.
The bottom line is that you shouldn’t judge a woman on her past – even her sexual past. Her past – as negative or crazy as it may be, should have taught her a lot about herself, what she wants, and what she really doesn’t want.
I’m not saying that all women learn their lessons from a negative past. Some women may still be making the same mistakes and be exactly the same person that they were in the past. Some people just don’t learn and grow. But many do.
If she’s waiting to be sexual with you, it proves she’s learned a thing or two. She doesn’t feel the need to jump into things just to hold on to you or prove something to you. I can almost guarantee that she doesn’t want to rush things because she’s scared it will ruin things.