Why are women so stupid? Why do they pick a man to date who treats them like garbage but take advantage of a guy who treats them like gold? Do they not understand that there are good guys out there that will treat them better than they have ever been treated if they just give them a chance? Don’t they see how stupid they are being when picking jerks? I hear these types of questions all the time on this blog to the point that guys believe they need to start treating women like shit in order to win them over.
Why Are Women Stupid Enough To Choose Jerks?
There are a few different reasons. But, it’s important to note that picking jerks to date is not just limited to women. There are plenty of guys out there that choose women who are jerks. Men also go after women that treat them like garbage but take advantage of a woman who treats them like gold. This suggests that picking bad partners is a human thing, not a female or male thing.
If you’ve ever picked a bad woman for yourself, sit back and ask yourself why. Why would you choose her over the nice woman that liked you? Chances are you will come up with some good answers that will help you understand why some women pick a bad partner too. But, if you can’t come up with anything, following are some possible reasons.
1. That’s What They Know As Love
Most experts believe that children who are raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an effective way to resolve conflicts and problems… For girls, adolescence may result in the belief that threats and violence are the norm in relationships. – Domestic Violence Roundtable
Picture a woman who is raised in an abusive house. Their father treated their mother like crap. Their mother demonstrated that real love is standing by your man, no matter how abusive he is. And they don’t know any other way to love than what they have been taught by their family. They find a man like their father, see their father in him, experience an unhealthy relationship, and think that is how a relationship is supposed to be.
One of the things abusive men do as a parent is undermine the mother. They overrule their decisions, make fun of her in front of the kids, and make it clear that he is the leader of the house who makes all the decisions. A child will believe this without question and that will affect their future relationships.
Another thing they do is manipulate their children and treat them well outside of the house where other people are watching, which makes them feel loved, and then treat them poorly at home, which confuses them. In the end, they want to be loved, and they are being taught that love turns off and on and is confusing.
I have met plenty of people who have grown up in abusive homes and have a very warped idea of what love is. They often get into relationships that mimic their parents, and they feel like it is the only way to relate in a relationship. They just can’t comprehend that there is something better out there, and they will often say things like ‘Love hurts’ and ‘Love is hard’. That kind of mentality only allows them to see jerks in their life and maintain relationships with them. They can’t see the good because they don’t believe that it is really there.
2. Their Attitude Sucks
A woman with a negative attitude towards things is going to be drawn to a negative person. They are going to be drawn to the drama, the pain, the anger, and the problems because that is what state they are living in.
A woman with a negative attitude towards herself is going to have low self-confidence and be drawn to a man who talks down to her and makes her feel bad about herself because that’s what she believes she deserves.
This doesn’t mean that a woman has to be full of drama in order to pick a bad guy. She may just have a very negative view of the world – as if everything sucks or things are supposed to work out badly in life. She may not even express it fully to you or to other people, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t honestly believe it.
What we believe in life we live.
- If we believe we deserve love, we don’t accept anything but love in our life.
- If we believe we DON’T deserve love, we accept people into our lives that don’t treat us well.
- If we believe we are destined to struggle, we do things and make choices that cause more struggles in our lives.
- If we believe we are smart, we do and choose things that align with that.
- If we believe we are stupid, we do and choose things that align with that.
Because our parents affect our beliefs, this is just another reason that growing up in an unhealthy home causes us to make poor choices.
Friends, other family members, culture, life experience, and even TV can affect your beliefs and attitude. So, take a look at the people in a woman’s life and her history to learn more about her beliefs and why she is making the choices she is making.
3. They Are Tricked By The Jerk
Some guys who are jerks are really good at hiding their true nature. They know what women want, so they put on their acting hat and pretend to be the perfect guy. They are funny and confident, and they say all the right things. A woman falls in love with visions of happiness and fulfillment, and she can’t see past her hormones that are causing her to feel in love and her excitement about the future.
And when he knows he’s got her hooked, he turns off the charade and shows his true colors. By that time she’s invested in him and leaving is not as easy as it would have been in the beginning. She struggles with the man she knew and the man he has become, and she hopes that soon he will change back into the man he once was. And, the longer she hopes that, the more invested in him she becomes.
At that point, it’s really hard to leave. There are a lot of emotions involved. There is a lot of time invested. And there is always a glimmer of hope that he is going to change because he was once the man she wanted him to be and could possibly be him again.
4. They Are Blinded By Drugs Or Alcohol
A woman who enjoys drinking every night and doing drugs is not going to pick a good guy to be with. He’s not anything like her. He doesn’t think like her, act like her, or want to do the same things she wants to do. Jerks are more her speed. A guy who does drugs or is an alcoholic is more her speed. She can relate to him, even if she is unhappy, and that is enough to draw her in and make her be with him.
It doesn’t matter how supportive a guy would be, a woman who has an addiction will usually find a man with addiction much more appealing. Not only does it justify her addiction (if he’s doing it, then it must be OK), but we as humans are just drawn to people who are like us.
5. They Want To Help Men
Some women believe that they can turn a jerk into a prince with the right kind of love. They want to nurture him, help him see things differently, and turn his life completely around. And, they want the credit for doing so.
In short, they are delusional.
Nobody can change someone else. It doesn’t matter how good they are or how loving the are, the only way someone can change is to change their beliefs, attitudes, and habits in life. Women who are trying to help a jerk turn his life around just don’t understand that and will spend years putting effort into him in order to help him.
A good guy is not someone that needs help, so he will not be appealing to these type of women.
Why You Shouldn’t Become A Jerk So Women Will Pick You
The bottom line is that women who are not in a healthy state of mind are picking jerks. You shouldn’t want those type of women anyway. Women who are needy, have low self-confidence, have negative beliefs about love and themselves, are living a dangerous life, or are trying to change the man they are with, are all women that will bring you more heartache than love.
It’s important to accept the fact that some women will always pick jerks and struggle in their love life because they are unwilling to see that there is something better and change.
And, if you try to take on a woman who is attracted to jerks, then you are likely trying to change something in her. You can’t do that.
Instead, find a woman who recognizes the value of a good guy and stick with her. You may want to expand what kind of women you are willing to date or work on your viewpoints towards what a healthy relationship really is about. If you only want a certain type of woman or have negative viewpoints on love, then there is a high chance that you will miss the good women and find the bad ones, which is exactly what you are complaining about in women!
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