I haven’t been writing for a while. I just got back from a trip across the country visiting my best friend. While the trip was great, there was an interesting thing that happened at the airports. My husband made me feel very special when I left and came home, but my friend’s husband was a completely different story! She didn’t tell him how unhappy it made her, but trust me, she felt less than special when he pretty much stuck out his hands for the keys instead of giving her a kiss hello.
I’ll tell you the story of what not to do first.
What NOT To Do When Your Girlfriend Goes Away And Comes Back
My friend’s husband works out of town two weeks at a time, so they are used to saying goodbye and being apart for a while. But, that doesn’t mean that my friend doesn’t want to feel special and loved. In fact, when he doesn’t show her affection when he comes home, she feels as though he doesn’t really care to see her and she is just the maid that takes care of the kids and picks him up and drops him off at the airport.
When we picked him up at the airport (I happened to be there when he came home from work), I expected him to give her a kiss. Instead, he held out his hand and she placed the truck keys in it. Then he went to the truck – and guess what he did – he opened the back, grabbed onto one of the dogs and hugged him and kissed him and showered him with love.
I watched as my friend smiled at this affection, but I knew that she was thinking, “Why the hell do my dogs get more affection than me?” More importantly, she was thinking, “Does he love the dogs more than he loves me.”
My answer, from what I observed, would be a loud YES! Any man who loves his girlfriend or wife should be willing to kiss her and hug her and tell her that he loves her BEFORE he kisses and hugs his dogs.
I will tell you right now that I know she questions his love for her. She struggles with the way he treats her, and even though she has accepted it as ‘just the way it is’ she does not feel connected to her man because he does not treat her like the amazing woman that she is.
He makes her feel ‘less than’, and one day this is going to be too much for her. If they don’t fight about it already, I can guarantee you that it will affect their relationship negatively in the future.
She already feels conflicted about it, which means she has negative feelings about it. And, when she thinks and feels negative about the relationship, that affects it in a negative way – maybe a small way, but in a way nonetheless.
That’s not good for a healthy relationship.
Moreover, she doesn’t want to tell him how she feels anymore because nothing comes from it. So, she feels disconnected and unvalidated, which are two very unhealthy feelings to have in a relationship.
In the end, she is unhappy with the way he greets her and leaves her, and this is hurting their relationship. Don’t be like this guy. Be smarter, and take some time to do the right things to make her feel good and create a stronger and happier relationship.
What To Do When Your Girlfriend Goes Away And Comes Back
If you love your woman, make her feel special. It takes a few minutes to give her a hug and a kiss and tell her that you are glad to see her.
My husband did just that. He stayed with me until I left. He reminded me that I was going to be missed (even though I knew he was glad to spend some time alone!) He kissed and hugged me goodbye and waved at me as I passed through security at the airport.
When I got home, he had flowers waiting for me. He gave me a hug and a kiss hello, and he told me that he was glad to have me home.
All of those things took a few minutes for him to do, but he made me feel like a special and loved woman, and as a woman – I feel amazing that I have a man who takes the time to do that.
So, if your girlfriend or wife is leaving for a small or big trip, make sure to let her know that she is an important part of your life and you will miss her and be glad to have her home. Then follow through with actions, such as kissing, hugging, and bringing her flowers when she comes home.
Even if you don’t understand why she needs that validation, just do it! Your relationship will be stronger for it.