If you date a few girls in your life, it’s probably going to happen to you. Your ex-girlfriend is going to want you back in her life, and you are going to have decide whether or not it is worth getting back together with her.
First things first though – If you don’t want her back, tell her. Don’t make her think you are considering it, because you will both suffer for it. She will be anxious as she waits to learn your decision, and even if she doesn’t harass you about it – which she might do, there will be a lot of tension as you move forward.
If you don’t want your ex-girlfriend back, stop things immediately so that you can both move on with your life.
Not Sure If You Want Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?
If you are debating it, then you need to take some things into consideration.
1. Will You End Up Having The Same Relationship And Break Up Again?
If you haven’t changed, and she hasn’t changed, then yes – you will probably end up having the exact same relationship that results in the same kind of breakup. And it will happen over and over again until you both change the issues that are causing the problems.
There are some things you can’t change. For instance, if she cheated on you and told you it was because you were boring, there is a good chance that she will feel the same way again.
Think about it – have you become someone different who she will find fascinating? Not likely. Your beliefs and habits make you who you are, so the chances of you being more exciting to her are not likely.
On the other hand, if you broke up and she found your habit of playing video games all day frustrating, and it ultimately caused the breakup, then you can easily stop playing video games all day and eliminate the problem.
And she has to have changed as well. Any of the qualities that you feel contributed to the breakup need to be gone or altered before you get back together with your ex-girlfriend; otherwise, they will still play the negative part they played in the relationship before.
2. Can You See Yourself With Her For The Long Run?
Is your ex-girlfriend really the one? Be honest with yourself. It can be tempting to take her back because she is comfortable to you and you know how to relate to her, but that doesn’t mean she is good for you.
If you are going to be with a girl for the long run, you better make sure you are okay with her beliefs, habits, and goals in life. That is someone who, despite little annoyances or issues, is going to be someone who you can be with for life.
If you find her beliefs way off and her habits annoying and her goals dumb, then you will not be able to relate to her well, and that will affect your relationship big time.
3. Can You Get Past What Happened?
Let’s say your ex-girlfriend cheated on you and really hurt you. Now she wants you back. She is going to therapy. She is working on herself. She seems like she will be a different person. This should work, right?
Depends on you.
If you can’t get past her cheating on you, then you are not going to have a good relationship moving forward. Even if she’s changed, you will always have that anger, hurt, and fear inside, and that will cause issues in the relationship one way or the other.
Therefore, if you just can’t get over what she did, don’t take her back. Let her know that it’s not fair to either of you.
My Ex-Girlfriend Wants Me Back And I Want Her Back Too!
If that’s the case, then nothing I or anyone else says is going to stop you from getting back together with her. Deep down you want her back, and even if you are buying some time before you do it, you are not going to say no to her.
I just want you to remember these things:
- Research has shown that people who break up and then get back together in a cycle tend to be less happy.
- If nothing has changed in you or her, then your relationship is almost guaranteed to be the same one as last time (and that one ended in a breakup)
- Fighting and problems are not a normal part of relationships. While disagreements and issues can arise, a healthy relationship is free from abuse, pain, or torment.
- There are plenty of women out there. If you are getting back together with an ex-girlfriend simply because you are scared you won’t find anyone else, then you are short-changing yourself for what could be. In other words, the one woman who could really make you happy might pass you by as you are in a relationship with your ex-girlfriend that is not very satisfying.
In the end, if you came here because you were searching for ‘my ex-girlfriend wants me back’ and you are not sure what to do, please the take the above things into consideration.
It’s easy to jump back into a relationship where you know her friends, family, habits, and everything else. It is comfortable. But that doesn’t mean it is right for you!
Ultimately, your long-term happiness should be your concern.