How can you tell if you are living by design or default? If you have a purpose in life and plans set in place, and you are actively taking action on those plans, then you are living by design. If you are blowing in the wind, not sure where you are going, living day to day wondering what will happen to you tomorrow, and feeling out of control, you are living by default.
Living by design helps you create the life you want.
- You work towards goals, desires, and dreams
- You feel optimistic or excited about life – no matter what is happening
- You overcome failure instead of letting it stop you in your tracks
- You feel in control of your life despite the things outside of your control
- You do things that make you feel empowered
- You talk to yourself in a way that makes you feel strong, confident, and purposeful
- You take changes and live without regrets
- You allow others to be who they are because you recognize the power in being true to yourself
- You feel confident in the way things are going
Living by default means your life is decided by everything and everybody else but you.
- You take things personally
- You feel pessimistic about life because you have no control over it
- You let failure bring you down and add to your pessimism
- You live with regrets and anger, which you don’t blame on yourself, but, instead, other people because you don’t feel responsible for your life
- Life feels chaotic and out of control
- You do what you think you should do to please other people
- You put your own happiness on the back burner when other people demand something from you
- You accept things into your life that do not make you happy
- You react poorly to things and hold on to negative emotions
- You feel unhappy with the way things are going
Now, you won’t have complete control over your life when you live by design, because unexpected things happen. But you will have control over how you react to those things and what happens afterwards.
In other words, you will have control over whether or not you move forward in a positive way towards what you want in life or a negative way towards whatever comes your way.
How Does Living By Default Affect Your Dating Life?
Living by default puts you into the victim role.
- You feel like you have been screwed over by women.
- You feel like you have been screwed over by dating.
- You feel like you have been screwed over by life!
You are a victim, and you feel like you have no control over your future with women. Therefore, you live in the past. You focus on everything that has been done to you and you feel hopeless about what is to come.
When you have that kind of attitude, you are just going to attract more of the same into your life. Why? There are a few reasons.
- Nobody likes a victim. Victims suck your energy and they are draining. They are not fun to be around. They blame others for their problems, which is really unattractive to anyone – especially women looking for a man.
- Suspicion is part of a victim’s life – And, when you get suspicious of others people’s intentions with you, they feel it and become suspicious of you. That’s not a good start to a date, and it doesn’t contribute to a healthy relationship.
- A victim is not attractive – Attraction is a huge part of connecting with someone and forming a bond, but victims are not attractive. They have low confidence, are pessimistic, have no concrete future goals, are not taking action on their life, and focus on the past or worry about the future instead of living in the moment. In short, there is not much to be attracted to in a victim.
How Does Living By Design Affect Your Dating Life?
Living by design puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.
You understand that life is a result of your choices and behaviors, so you make the most of them. As I said, you are not going to get everything you want in life or always have things work out the way you want them to work out, but you will make due with what comes and work with it to move towards a more fulfilling life.
When you are in the driver’s seat, you are going to attract better things into your life. Why? There are a few reasons.
- You see things with a more optimistic view. Optimism promotes success in life. People who are optimistic can move through failures quickly and find solutions to their problems. They have an easier time dealing with stress and are more likely to make decisions and take chances that benefit their life because they feel that it may all work out. All of this will improve someone’s dating life.
- You are more confident: When you are in the driver’s seat, you know who you are, who you want to be, who you want to be with, and where you are going. In short, you are more confident, and confidence is sexy as hell to women!
- You take care of yourself: People who understand that their life doesn’t just happen to them, but is actually a result of their choices, tend to take better care of themselves. They take care of their mental and physical health, and that makes them more attractive to other people. I’m not talking about having a great body or perfect face, I’m talking about being the best you possible, which is an attractive trait to everyone.
- You take on attractive qualities: If you want to be attractive to other people, live by design. In fact, living by design means you develop all 100 qualities that make a man attractive. This is because you recognize your shortcomings and take action on developing them. For instance, if you are a bad listener, you can recognize that easier when you are living by design and aware of how your actions affect your life, so you can take action to fix it.
In the end, living by design affects your dating life in a big way. You feel more confident, you appear more confident, and you have more control over your dating life. In addition, whether you have found someone yet or not, you keep moving forward to a life you want rather than let what’s happening to you dictate how you feel and act and influence your future with women in a negative way.