A break up can be very, very painful. It can be hard to get back into the swing of life when your ex is all you can think about – in a good or bad way. Time does heal, but sometimes the emotions are so strong that waiting for time to pass can feel torturous! If you are stuck in a place of doom and gloom, then the following 6 tips can help the healing time speed up and move you towards happiness again.
1. Take It All In
You are probably focused on the good or bad times of your relationships, but not willing to look at it as a whole. Maybe you don’t want to admit that the relationship was bad, so you are only focusing on the good times. Or maybe you don’t want to admit that the relationship was, in part, good, so you are only focusing on the bad times. It is important to understand that your ex relationship had both good and bad times if you want to move forward.
Take the time to sit down and go through your relationship from start to finish. You will remember things that you haven’t thought about for a long time. You will experience all kinds of feelings. But you will be confronting the relationship that actually happened, instead of the parts that you are choosing to remember, and that will help you move forward to the next steps.
Most importantly, looking at the relationship as a whole will allow you to see that the relationship needed to end, for one reason or another. It will allow you to see the why, how, and when of the break up.
2. Don’t Contact Your Ex
Some people will tell you that this doesn’t matter, but I think it is extremely important to avoid contact with your ex until your emotions have died down and you are in a healthier state of mind regarding the break up. It will help you avoid doing or saying something that you regret later on, and it will give you the space you need to deal with your feelings.
Let’s face it, when you see your ex, strong emotions can easily come up again.
So, don’t go to places you know she will be at. Don’t stalk her on Facebook or any other social media platform. Allow yourself some time to distance yourself from her and her life.
3. Distractions Are Important
Distancing yourself will help you avoid confrontational emotions, but you still have your memories, so try to distract yourself as much as possible.
Hang out with family and friends, take up new activities that keep you busy, start a new business venture, work towards your goals, take up reading, or start watching a really good series that you haven’t watched. All of these things will help you focus your mind towards things other than your ex-girlfriend, and you WILL welcome the distractions!
4. Live In The Moment As Much As Possible
After a break up, it is easy to live in the past or future. You think about past experiences with your ex, and you think about what ‘may be’ in the future, but you don’t focus on the present moment as much because your break up weighs so heavily on your mind (and it is not in the present moment!)
Focus on what is happening to you right now and you will feel more grounded in your life. You want to feel grounded right?
How can you live in the moment? Read this article on how to live in the now.
5. When It Hurts, Remind Yourself That It Will Pass
Everything passes in life: hurt, anger, regret, and stress all move out of your life eventually and get filled up with other emotions. One of my favorite sayings is, “This too shall pass.” Use it! It will help you realize that the pain you are having right now will not be there forever, and that will provide some relief.
6. Reflect On The Relationship
Once you have moved passed some of the negative emotions. take some time to reflect on what the relationship and your ex girlfriend taught you. Believe me, there is something there! Every relationship and experience you have in life teaches you something about yourself, what you want, what you don’t want, and where you are going.
If you can find that lesson, then you will be grateful for your ex-girlfriend and the relationship. And, there is no better feelings than gratitude to help you start building a new, exciting life that gives you more to be grateful for.