Some guys may not consider this a problem. But, some guys who actually want a relationship, or at least a woman who they go out on serious dates with, will ask this question as woman after woman drops out of their life after they sleep together a few times.
Does that sound like you? The problem is not attraction. You can obviously get women in your bed.
So, there are at least 6 different reasons that I can see why women will sleep with you but not date you. Pick one that resonates with you, fix it, and see what happens.
1. You Have Nothing In Common With These Women
Are you attracting women who are the exact opposite of you?
Are you an atheist picking up a religious woman?
Do you like to stay at home more than you go out, but pick up women who like to party?
My point is take a look at the women you are picking up, and where you are picking them up, and then decide if these women are really going to have something in common with you that will form the basis and strength of a relationship.
Manly men may have this problem. Being manly should be a good thing. Right? I always talk about how a masculine man is what women want in their life, and manly men are very attractive to women sexually.
But, if you are all about cars, tools, working out, video games, beer and nachos, or acting like a caveman in your home, for example, then you may have nothing in common with the women you want to date. Yes, you may be able to please them in bed, but outside of the bedroom you may turn her off being in a relationship with you.
This doesn’t meant that you have to change your interests or who you are. It just means that you haven’t found a girl that relates to you and wants to be with a man like you. There probably are a few women out there like that, but for some reason you are not attracting them to you or you are picking women from the wrong places.
This is why online dating is so great. You get to lay out your interests clearly for women to see, and if a woman bites then she knows what kind of guy you are, and she is interested in you for who you are.
Stop picking up women wherever you are picking them up and, instead, go to places that may have more women who are interested in the same thing you are.
2. You Are A Jerk!
Maybe you have a great body but a lousy attitude. If that is the case, women may be attracted to you sexually, but have no interest in you other than pleasure.
Are you confident in yourself?
If you are confident, do you think you are confident and compassionate or confident and a jerk?
If you are a jerk with confidence, then women will still be attracted to you – enough to sleep with you anywase, but they will not likely want to date you. The line between confidence and jerk is very thin, and it is important to know which side of the line you stand on.
A jerk will:
- Make rude (even jokingly) comments
- Think of himself as the greatest
- Brag constantly
- Put down others
- Act obnoxious in general
Women are not looking for a jerk to be with for the long-term, and dating is about progressing towards something, like a long-term relationship. Why would a woman date someone who is going to be rude and obnoxious for life?
I really believe that awareness is essential to stop being a jerk and start being compassionate in life. This means looking outside of yourself, past what you think is real, and recognizing other people’s needs and desires. You have to care about others in order for them to care about you.
3. You Are Picking The Wrong Women
The women you are attracted to may be the wrong women for you. Your picker may be broken and you may be picking women who are fun and carefree, but not ready to settle down. Or you may be picking women who have so many issues that dating isn’t even an option for them.
How can you spot the wrong woman?
- She has ex issues
- She has a lot of baggage
- She has drug/alcohol issues
- She is focused on what you can do you for her (money and material things)
- She makes out with you a few minutes after meeting her
- She sleeps you with a few minutes after meeting her
- She flirts with a lot of men
- She is angry, jealous, miserable, or obnoxious
- She is very, very drunk
When you go out, look for a woman who doesn’t have these traits. You may think, “How can I spot these traits?” Well, before you sleep with her, go on a date with her and get her talking.
Hell, go out for a few dates before you sleep with her.
The more you get to know her, the more you will understand whether or not she is someone who will use you or be a good and healthy match for you.
Just make sure you pay attention and acknowledge what you see. Through her words and actions, you will be able to tell if she is ready for something more than just a few romps in the bedroom.
4. You May Do All The Right Things To Get Them To Sleep With You, Then All The Wrong Things Afterwards
If you’ve nailed what it takes to get a woman to come home with you, that’s great. But if you are looking for something more, you will have to nail what women really want.
You may be able to convince women that they want to sleep with you, but afterwards they may feel cheated because you seemed to promise more than you have to offer.
For example, if you are confident to the point of sleeping with a woman, but lack confidence on what to do after sleeping together, she may feel duped. She thought she was getting with a confident man who knew what he wanted, but really he turns out to be a confused and insecure man who doesn’t know what to do next – and that will probably turn her off towards dating you.
Time to learn what women really want in a man so that you can become that man.
5. You Are Sleeping Together Too Soon
Some relationships are started from one night stands, but most are not. It takes a while to get to know someone intimately, and if you sleep with women before that time, then you may be sending them a message that they don’t like.
For instance, if you sleep with a woman while she is drunk on the first night you meet her, then she may feel like you are just trying to get laid rather than get to know her. Yes, it takes two to sleep together, but that doesn’t mean she still won’t have an opinion about it. That negative opinion may hold her back from wanting to date you.
The bottom line is you can choose not to sleep with women until you get to know them better. Even if a woman throws herself at you, there is always the choice to throw her off and slow things down a bit.
6. You Are All About The Sex
If you come off strong with the sex, want it right away, and are damn good at it, then women will view you as you are acting – all about the sex.
Some women will run away from that, but others will be like – “You know what, this guy is a sexual man and I like that. I think I will enjoy the sex with him but avoid getting into a relationship with him, because sex is not all I want.”
In other words, if you are a very sexual being, but you are not showing a lot of qualities that would make you a great boyfriend, then women may take what they can get and not expect (or try to get) anything else out of you.
I can tell you that there are a lot of men who are all about the sex, and women who have been used by these guys are great at putting up walls to ensure they don’t get hurt again by a player.
So, they accept that sex is what is you are after, don’t dare try to get to know you better because pain (from the rejection) is what comes from that, and then get out when their emotions start to threaten the good time they are having. In other words, if they start to like you, they will ditch you before you ditch them.
Clear On Why Women Sleep With You But Won’t Date You?
One of the above points has to resonate with you, or maybe a combination of the above points.
The bottom line is if you keep doing what you are doing, then nothing will change. Change some stuff around, whether it be your attitude, where you pick up women, what kind of women you pick up, or how you treat women.
When you change what you are doing, the results will change. Soon, you may have too many women wanting to date you!