Just because you broke up doesn’t mean that you don’t still have feelings for your ex girlfriend. In fact, you may be having all kinds of feelings such as regret, anger, hurt, and anxiety. Your ex girlfriend may be gone, but your emotions towards her and the breakup are still there if you don’t deal with them.
Experiencing Loss After A Breakup
Breaking up is about loss.
- You lose the relationship with a woman that was supposed to be with you for the long-term.
- You lose the life that you were working towards (that included her in it).
- You sometimes lose possessions in the breakup.
- You may lose pets in the breakup.
- You may even lose the 24-hour relationship you had with the kids if there were kids in the relationship.
You can lose a lot of stuff, so part of getting over your ex girlfriend starts with dealing with that loss.
How To Deal With Loss After Breaking Up
1. Understand That Your Relationship Ran Its Intended Course – For Now
If you were still meant to be together, you would be together. Accepting that your relationship with your ex girlfriend ran its destined course is the first step to getting over her, and any loss incurred, and start moving forward.
2. Figure Out Why You Had The Relationship
Your relationship with your ex girlfriend was a part of your destiny to become better and happier. In other words, the relationship wasn’t a mistake. You were supposed to have the relationship for some reason.
Find the meaning behind the relationship. This may be hard to do at first, but once you sit back and reflect on the relationship, you will be able to easily see what you learned and how it made you a better person.
For instance, did you have the relationship to learn a lesson about trust, respect, or what you really want in a relationship?
Look deep enough and you will find that there is a lesson for you to learn, and that lesson will allow you to see your ex girlfriend as someone who taught you something in life, not as someone who ruined your life or took away precious moments of your life.
3. Figure Out What Negative Beliefs You Hold Towards Relationships
Do you believe that you are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. For instance, do you feel as though you are meant to attract women that use you and then dump you? If you hold those beliefs about yourself, how could you possibly attract any other kind of woman?
There are so many negative beliefs that you may be holding that I couldn’t possibly guess what yours are. When you find them, though, you will instantly see that there is a connection between your beliefs and the relationships you consistently have.
4. Change The Way You Talk To Yourself
Now, start talking to yourself differently. Tell yourself:
- I value the relationship we had because it taught me many things about myself.
- My ex girlfriend was meant to come into my life and also meant to exit it at the time she did.
- I deserve to have happier relationships in the future, and I will use this information to move forward and do just that!
- I feel good about my past relationship and I am ready to let all negative emotions attached to it go once and for all.
Start using positive affirmations that help you redirect your mind towards the future in an optimistic way.
5. Do What Feels Right
Start moving forward without fear of being hurt again or another relationship going down the tubes. You now know that your relationships, even the ones that fail, are there for a higher purpose – so nothing is a waste of time.
Go forward and do what feels right. If you find a woman you want to get to know, great! If you run into your ex girlfriend and you decide you want her back, great! If you decide you want to be alone for the rest of your life and only have sex relationships, great! You know what is right for you, and as long as you are becoming a happier and healthier person in life, then your decisions are always right.