This article is actually a section taken straight out my eBook “69 Tips To Impress, Attract, And Get Women“. It is tip #39 under the section ‘How To Pick Up Women’. I got the desire to put this up on the blog today because as I sit here right now, in a coffee shop, I am getting a lot of first impressions. Some are very good and some are very bad.
Nobody is trying to pick me up here. But, an older woman beside me just got hit on by an older gentleman! And I can tell you that he made an awesome first impression with her. I know this because she is still smiling (it’s been 20 minutes) and I am still very impressed at how smooth and attractive he was.
So, if you are in a coffee shop right now – or anywhere else that you may want to make a great first impression with a woman, use the following advice and try to make a woman around you smile and feel good.
1. Don’t Make Too Many Gestures.
If the message that you are trying to send is one of confidence, control, and focus then don’t run up to a woman waving your hands and twitching your body like you possess too much energy. This kind of movement sends the message that you are not comfortable in your own body. It also makes women uncomfortable to be near you.
What you want to do is keep your body in control and have a relaxed demeanor about you. You should use gestures, but use them when appropriate. This will send a message that you are in control and will be a calm, confident person to be around.
2. Maintain a Confident Posture.
Do not approach a woman slumped over, arms crossed, and eyes facing towards the floor. It doesn’t matter how good of a conversation you maintain with her, this kind of body posturing will speak of low self-confidence or a negative attitude. Either way, it’s not an attractive stance.
Hold yourself high, pull your shoulders back, keep your head up, and send a message that you are a man who is worthy of other people’s attention and affection. That is the kind of first impression posture that will leave a woman wanting to meet you again.
3. Be Positive, But Not Too Positive.
A negative guy who complains about everything under the sun is not going to make a good first impression. That kind of guy will have women counting down the minutes until they can get away from them, and then cause them to never look back. Do not be negative during your first impression, as women will be expecting your best behavior, and a negative attitude should not be your best behavior.
Having a positive attitude is always going to win over a woman’s opinion about you. Just make sure you do not overdo it. If you are singing about sunshine and lollipops, then you can appear to be a little crazy. Just send the message that you love life and that you are a happy person.
4. Maintain Eye Contact.
When you are speaking to a woman for the first time, look her in the eye. If you are shifty with your eyes, or looking at anything or anyone but her eyes, then you are conveying one of two messages. The first message is that you don’t care about their presence and that you are extremely bored with them. The second message is that you are easily distracted. Either one of the messages is going to leave a bad first impression with a woman. To make a good first impression with them, make sure you maintain an appropriate amount of eye contact.
5. Talk About Relevant Things.
During a first impression, you do not want to talk about things you normally discuss with your friends. Anything that is personal should be avoided. The woman you are talking to does not know your beliefs and values and, therefore, cannot gauge what you are really trying to say when you talk about how upset you feel today.
Talk about your surroundings. Talk about the things you have in common. Talk about the person sitting next to you. Just keep the conversation relevant and avoid information that is too personal.
6. Keep An Eye on Her Body Language.
If you want to gauge what kind of impression you are making on her, watch her body language. If she is backing away from you, folding her arms, or raising her eyebrows, then you may be making a bad first impression and need to adjust your tone, conversation, or body language. On the other hand, if she is smiling, relaxed, and making good eye contact with you, then you are probably making a good first impression and you can just keep on doing what you are doing.
7. Ask Questions.
When you are not asking questions, you are most likely talking about yourself, your opinions, or your beliefs. When you talk too much about yourself, you can appear to be selfish. A selfish attitude is a big turn off during a first impression.
Try asking questions to appear interested in her. The more you allow her to talk about herself, or share her opinions and beliefs, the more she will view you as someone who actually cares about her and what she has to say. You will always leave women (and other people) wanting to see you again if you can show them that you care about them.
8. Be Authentic.
During a first impression, you may need to be a little more formal in your conversation, but you still have to be authentic. Do not agree with something you disagree with just to impress a woman. Do not talk in a way that you think will impress her when it goes against the way you normally talk. You will make a better impression if you stand by your morals and beliefs and stay true to the person you are. (Just make sure you don’t push your ideas on someone else or they may label you as overbearing.)
9. Be Well-Mannered
Nobody likes an impolite person. If you are rude, arrogant, or inconsiderate then you will leave a bad taste in her mouth, and she will label you as someone that she does not want to meet again. Make sure you are polite and take into consideration her feelings and the feelings of other people around you. Being polite will show them that you are mindful of other people and that you have emotional intelligence.
10. Be Well Groomed.
This may seem obvious, but there are many times that we can walk out the door without a concern about our presentation and make many bad first impressions along the way. People judge harshly based on appearance, and even if you are well mannered, intellectual, and funny during a first impression, people will still base a majority of their opinion on the way you dress and look.
It doesn’t matter if you do not think you are going to run into a woman or not, always leave your house dressed to impress in order to make the best first impression wherever you go.
11. Keep The Conversation Going.
If you have nothing to say, and there are many awkward silences in your conversation, then you will probably make an awkward first impression that will leave a woman not wanting to have to go through another uncomfortable meeting with you. You do not want that to happen! So you have to keep the conversation flowing.
Finding things to talk about is not that hard. All you have to do is listen to the woman who is talking to you, and make note of any unusual references they mention during the conversation. Anything that they mention will be something that they enjoy, think about, or are aware of. It can be a reference about a person, place, or event.
For example, if it is raining outside, and she mentions how the rain will be good for gardens, then she probably has some sort of attraction towards gardens. When you are stuck for conversation, bring up that reference that she made about gardens, and she will probably have a lot to say about them.
Use the above 11 tips to help you make the most out of your first impression. Never take the first impression lightly. If you make a good impression, you can leave women wanting to see you again. And if you don’t make a good impression, you can ruin your chances of making another impression at all.