7 Things Every Single Guy Looking For A Woman Should Know

Some Top Things That Single Men Need To Know

Sometimes I don’t know what to write on this blog and – to be honest, that’s because I’ve already written a ton of articles on this blog that cover some of the most popular topics for men looking for a woman.

So, I decided that today I would take your hand and point you in the direction of some of the articles on this blog that I think you may want to read if you are a single guy looking for a woman. In my opinion, these are things that all single guys should know.

1. How To Approach A Woman For The First Time

The way you approach a woman matters. I’ve been approached in some pretty horrible ways, stereotypical ways, and really great ways. The thing to remember is that every woman is different, and an approach that works for one woman may not work for another. That’s what the article How to approach a woman is really all about.

2. How NOT To Approach A Woman For The First Time

There is a lot of advice out there on how to approach a woman, and some of it is just plain shitty. That’s why I wrote – 5 Super Easy (And Often Ineffective) Ways To Approach A Woman. The article includes a few common things that guys do that result in an experience opposite of what they want.

3. How To Make A Great First Impression

This is so important. You CAN recover from a bad first impression, but it’s just easier to make a good one in the first place. When you make a good impression right from the beginning, you get to the number, date, kiss, and sex faster. So, if you want to improve your first impression game, read – 11 Tips To Make A Killer Impression.

4. How To Be More Confident Around Women

Confidence. You hear about how important it is over and over again, and that’s because it is pretty important. Sure, you can land a woman without confidence, but when you are confident your dating life and your relationship will go much more smoothly for both of you. Check out the article 8 HUGE Tips To Help You Be More Confident Around Women for some ways to start boosting your confidence right now.

5. How To Be More Successful With Women

Do you feel like you are stuck in the same place with women. Have the same game? Have the same disappointment? Have the same – well, whatever. If things are staying the same, that means one huge thing about yourself – you are staying the same. Listen to Jason Capital talk about the slight edge and why you need to use it.

6. How To Speak The Language Of Women

Forget about ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus'; instead, learn the language of lust. I love this program – it’s intensive when you get into it. And, guys have been telling me great things about their success with it. You can read my Language of Lust review here. I wrote it when it first came out – but I have so much more to say about the program since actively using it with my husband, and I’ll be writing an updated post soon. 

7. How To Deal With Quick Rejection

Being rejected quickly sucks. Being rejected after being with a woman for a while sucks too, but being rejected quickly can hurt your ego in a way that can affect your future with women. It is important to deal with rejection the proper way to keep moving forward. Check out How to Deal With Early Rejection From A Woman for some new perspective on being rejected by a woman.

What Does It Mean When A Girl Says You’re Scary Straight Away?

Woman looking scared because of a scary guy

When a girl tells you that you are scary within your first few conversations, it is not usually a good thing. Some people think that ‘scary guy’ and ‘bad boy’ go together, but outside of movies, not many girls will tell you that you are scary in a good way. They may tell you that you are a ‘bad boy’, but they will not necessarily say – “You’re scary!” if they are feeling good about you.

If she thinks you are scary, she will say so and mean it, so don’t try to dissect “You’re scary,” as to have some sort of hidden meaning. For example, on yahoo answers, the follow question was asked.

Do girls sometimes call a guy “scary” as a convenient excuse to reject him, but conceal her real reason (such as not finding him hot)?

For example, I get a good amount of dates and hook ups off of tinder. They almost always go great. But a couple days ago, I saw this girls profile on tinder who was like “Let’s be friends!” In her profile.

I’m usually not a dick, but here she is, clearly taking advantage of thirsty guys and using them for attention, taking their interest and giving them nothing in return (she’s probably not even really their friend, and definitely doesn’t hook up with them or date them). So, I couldn’t resist calling her out on this

She responded by saying “I have to be friends with someone before… Nowhere does it say that this app is to be used for hookups or dating” (even tho numerous websites all agree it is for that).

So I responded, “so if Channing Tatum or Chris Evans came up to you, and said they like to date you but they don’t want to be friends first, you would actually still friend zone them first?”

She admitted she would go on dates with them…Begrudgingly of course. She didn’t like being called out.

So I asked her, “Okay so if you would go on dates with them, does that mean you would go on one with me? Or do your “standards” only apply to hot guys?”

She said “you scare me a little” (even tho I’ve made literally no threats.. I’ve never hit a woman, I have a clean record and I just got out of an 11 month relationship)

Do girls just say crap like that to rile you up, and as a socially valid excuse to reject you without looking mean? – Source

When she said that he scared her, she meant he scared her. He was calling her out for her own opinion and beliefs, and telling her that she was wrong because they didn’t line up with his, and – yes, that is scary.

From her point of view, she thinks: If he’s telling me that I’m wrong now, what will he tell me when he really gets to know me?

What’s Scary Look Like?

Don’t want to appear scary around women? Avoid the following behaviors.

Not showing emotions: It is human nature to have emotions. You may be tempted to try to keep it cool, but if you hide your emotions too well – that will appear scary. Take the guy in the following video…he would be scary.

Needy behavior: If you are being needy before you go on your first date, or on your first few dates, that’s scary. No woman wants to get into a relationship with a guy who needs to be entertained all the time by her. Even hint at neediness and she may call you out.

Possessive behavior: A woman is not a possession, she is a human being. If you act possessive over her, then that’s scary. That includes demanding that she hang out with you and not other people, acting sulky when she wants to do things with other people and not you, and trying to control what she does or doesn’t do (like in the example above where the guy was trying to control how she used Tinder!)

Focusing on sex: There are some women who are looking for sex, and they will likely make it clear from the beginning, but most women are not. There are many women who have been used for sex, and they know that some guys are just coming onto them to get laid and then ditch them. Plus women are scared of being judged by guys who call them sluts after consensual sex. So, most women are very careful around a guy who is totally focused on sex, and if it seems to be the focal point, forcefulness and rape are two things all women think about. SCARY!

Making Up Stuff: There is something about lying that is scary – especially in the beginning. Personally, I think that someone who can make up stuff in an instant and lie easily has the potential to be very scary. My neighbor lied to me the first time I met him (and the second, and the third, and the fourth…) and I find him very creepy. I’m not sure of his intentions or what he is really thinking, and I just find him totally weird.

So, if a woman calls you scary – take it at face value and – possibly, consider how you act around women in the future.

5 Things To Remember When You Feel Like Giving Up On Women

You know what you want out of a relationship. You know what you want in a woman. You know who would make you happiest in life. But none of it has shown up yet.

Sometimes that date, relationship, or woman doesn’t come easy, but following are some things to remember when you feel like giving up.

1. You Get In And Fall Out – It’s A Part Of Life

Sometimes you think you have gotten close to where you want to be and then instantly get dumped out of your spot. It happens. Unexpected things occur.

You don’t have any control over those surprises. But there is one thing you do have control over – the ability to get back up and try again.

2. When You Don’t Have It, You Can Fake It

Sometimes you don’t have what you want yet, but you CAN fake it until you make it. While some people think that faking it until you make it is bad advice, other people say that it can actually help you to get the results you want. In fact, faking it can help force you to find the answers you are looking for and develop the traits you want to develop much faster.

So:

  • Pretend to be a ladies man.
  • Pretend to be the guy that easily attracts women he wants.
  • Pretend to be confident and in control.

(Just don’t get caught faking it too hard.)

View post on imgur.com

3. Other People Have Faced A ‘Wall’ And Succeeded

It may not feel like it, but no matter where you are, how you feel, and where you want to go, someone else has been there and done that. In short, other people have been where you are and succeeded.

Always remember that if they can do it, you can do it. They don’t have superhuman powers…they just figured out how to make everything work out for themselves. 

And if you don’t care that other people have been where you are, then remember this:

success keep trying

4. Pay Attention Or You Might Get Stuck

You may feel like closing your eyes and ignoring the world around you, but if you do that, then you may get stuck and find it even harder to keep trying and find success. 

Here’s the thing: The world keeps going on even if you decide to pretend that it doesn’t.  Stay present. Stay focused. And do what you need to do to avoid getting stuck in a really bad spot.

5. Success Comes To Those Who Try

If you really feel like giving up, remind yourself that if you do – success is not going to come. You simply cannot have success with anything, including women, if you give up and stop trying.

Trying may not be fun. It may not be rewarding (yet). But trying is your best chance at succeeding.

5 Must-Know Rules Of Storytelling To Win Women Over

How To Tell Stories About Yourself That Make You Sound Interesting To Women

Women like guys who are charming and interesting. Why wouldn’t they? Those are some redeeming qualities about any human being.

Some guys naturally have a lot of charm and draw the interest of women easily. But other guys have a harder time painting an attractive light around themselves.

Luckily, for all guys, conversation is a great time to show a woman how awesome you are. And, telling stories about your experiences in life will help a woman see who you are, what you stand for, and that you have a lot to offer her.

Through stories you can let a woman know that you have a sense of humor, dedication, confidence, adventure, passion, and so much more.

Since stories help you paint a positive picture without bragging about your awesomeness (being egotistic), it becomes important to know how to tell good stories.

And in order to know how to tell good stories about yourself, you have to know what not to do when telling your stories.

So, how do you tell great stories about yourself? DON’T do the following things.

1. Don’t Be Random

The trick is to incorporate stories that relate to the conversation. For instance, if she is talking about an awesome vacation experience she had, then a story about a vacation where you also had an awesome experience would fit in nicely. But, if you start talking about your experience at the casino last night, it forces her to move totally off topic and that can be slightly irritating.

You have a lot of stories! Even if there are specific stories that you want to tell, there is a time and a place to tell them. When you are trying to impress and attract a woman, stick to the stories that seem to fit into the mood and conversation.

2. Don’t Try Too Hard To Impress Her

You want your stories to be true. If she doesn’t like you for your experiences (which make up who you are), then she’s not worth it anyway. So don’t try to bulk up your stories to reflect something you think she wants to hear.

Trying to make yourself look amazing will end up in you embellishing your stories – a lot. For instance, if you want to make yourself look like you have an amazing job, you could easily add a few details (like how much you get paid, how well you are liked, or how much praise you get from your boss) that aren’t necessarily true.

Here’s the thing: Women have a built-in bullshit radar, and when you embellish a story, they will sense it. Then they will give you ‘the look’ that says they call bullshit, or they will outright call it, and you will find yourself embellishing your story even more to convince them otherwise.

That is when foot in mouth syndrome starts to set in, and you can easily have the opposite effect on a woman than you planned.

When the pressure is on to fix your story, stupid things will be said…it’s just the way it goes.

3. Don’t Try To Be Perfect In Your Stories

Charming and interesting people sometimes show off a little vulnerability. We are all drawn to people who have imperfections and are willing to admit it. They are more relatable, because nobody is perfect!

Showing vulnerability has nothing to do with lack of confidence. In fact, confident people are usually the only people who are willing to show their vulnerability.

They know that their faults are what make them who they are, and they like themselves enough to know that who they are is good enough – even to that woman that they want so badly.

Just don’t get into victim territory. If the fact that you were passed over for a promotion ends up in a story, fine. But don’t complain and whine about it, or blame everyone else for your unhappiness. The passing up of a promotion should be a part of the story that leads to something better, not a focal point of misery that makes you look like someone who got passed up because you are miserable.

4. Don’t Tell Every Single Detail

Interesting people don’t need to rehash every step of the story they are telling. Certain details are just boring to someone listening to you – and they honestly don’t need to know them.

In addition, little details can end up doing more harm than good for the picture you are trying to paint around yourself.

For instance, telling a woman about a trip you went on is fine if you want to let her know that you are well-rounded and full of adventure. But unless it helps add to the point you are making, you don’t need to tell about why you booked the trip, which agency you booked through, how uncomfortable the plane ride was, how long the layover was, what the clouds looked like on the plan, etc.

Pick the parts of the story that help you get your point across and get on with it!

Getting to the point will also help you talk less, which will balance out the conversation more.

Dr. Lynn Koegel, who is clinical director of Koegel Autism Center at the University of California, Santa Barbara, says that an optimal conversation flow has each person talking about 50% of the time. – Source

5. Don’t Be Negative

Lastly, make sure you tell positive, uplifting, insightful, funny, or meaningful stories about yourself. Don’t tell stories that are gory or upsetting, and don’t share stories that make you look like a heartless jerk. Just stick to stories that make her want to be closer to you and get to know you.

Don’t worry, once you win her over you will have plenty of time to tell her all of the stories that you want to tell her. Until then, you are trying to show off your best qualities, not your worst.

What kind of qualities do you want to show off in your stories? Read this article: The 100 Qualities That Make a Man Attractive

At Some Point You Got To Stop Making The Same Mistakes

At Some Point You Got To Stop Making The Same Mistakes - Erase the past and start new

Not all guys, but some guys are taught to ignore their feelings – or at least suppress them. You’re not allowed to cry, act upset, or throw a tantrum…that’s all womanly things – right? Well, then why do I see so many comments on this blog full of feelings?

For instance, I got this comment today. It’s totally unedited by me.

“Im not suicidal but im frustrated with so called self help experts like u that feeds bs information to guys for not attracting women. A person has to like u the way you are. Ya right work on ourselves to be comedians or actors. It takes 2 to have a great conversation. And it is about looks btw. It starts with that. The more she or he likes you the better the conversation. Work on ourselves for what ??? If your shy thats who you are it doesn’t contradict confidence. If you get to know a shy person you might be surprised. If your a talkative guy thats good too. Everybody gas is personality and its WRONG to change just to please the other sex. Why don’t you have a website on how  to attract men ?   Cause its always the guys fault i guess. By the way a guy that has confidence  dosent need to change.”

This comment talks about a ton of things that I’ve never even said! It is so random that it’s ridiculous. And, by the way, my husband is a shy guy, I do have a website for women, and I have never said that it is always the guy’s fault.

In short, that comment is totally based of this guy’s feelings – fear, anger, resentment, or sadness.

Every day I get comments like this FULL of feelings. Not always an attack at me or the article. Usually I just get a lot of messages from guys who feel depressed and like giving up on love. For instance, one article I wrote called, ‘Don’t Kill Yourself Because You Can’t Get A Woman‘ has guys sending me messages almost daily.

For the rude guys, I suppose they feel like they can’t say this kind of stuff to their friends or women in real life, so they take out their frustrations on me – whether what they are saying makes any sense or not.

They don’t know me or my values with this blog. They don’t read my articles all the way through. Instead they twist my words up, complain about things I’ve never said, and then rant and rant and rant.

At Some Point, You Have To Own Your Past Mistakes

In short, many guys who come to this website blame others for their problems.

It’s not their fault that women don’t like them.

It’s not their fault that they keeping making the same mistakes over and over again.

NO! It’s everyone else’s fault.

Here’s the thing: At some point you got to stop making the same mistakes if you want something different in your life.

That applies to dating, business, swimming, driving, walking, and anything else that you do in your life.

I’ve learned this the hard way, but I learned it! I kept making the same mistakes over and over again in many areas of my life, and until I learned from them, I repeated the same crappy experiences over and over.

I still make mistakes, but I learn from them. That’s pretty much all you can do if you want to be happier and more successful in life.

  1. You admit that you made a mistake
  2. You learn from your mistakes
  3. You grow and become better
  4. You have more success

I once heard someone say, “I wouldn’t erase any of my failures in my life because that would mean I would erase all of my successes too.” Success comes from failure. You live and you learn.

BUT, when you complain, rant, blame, and stay stuck in a miserable state, you don’t learn. You just keep repeating the same old thing over and over again and because you don’t want to admit it, you blame other people.

When guys tell me that they don’t have to change, I cringe. Change is the only thing that gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Everyone has to change in order to experience new and better things.

If you want to talk to women in a way that turns

Acknowledge Your Feelings And Do Something About It

Again, I’ve been there, so I know. When you complain and blame, you don’t acknowledge your feelings. You don’t take a look at yourself and your contribution to the problem. Instead, you rant away at other people and stay stuck in the same place.

Your feelings are a direct result of your thoughts. If you are feeling shitty, then you are thinking shitty.

When you are thinking shitty, how can make decisions that benefit you and your dating life – or any other part of your life?

How can work on yourself, find solutions, and stop making the same old mistakes that keep you stuck where you are?

It’s time to admit that you have feelings.

You’re a man, but you are also a human.

You are allowed to get upset.

And, if you pay attention to your feelings, and acknowledge that something must be totally wrong for you to feel that way, then you can work on solving your problems and becoming happier.

Still Don’t Want To Acknowledge Your Feelings?

Interestingly, I found this article today that talks about how constant exposure to negativity impairs your brain function. In fact, being exposed to negativity can affect your ability to problem solve.

Wouldn’t that mean that living in a state of negativity would limit your ability to get out of it?

So, next time you are going to complain to yourself, to your friends, or to me, look in the mirror and remind yourself that negativity is no good for your brain. Then, ask yourself why you are feeling and thinking so negatively, and how you can fix your situation and feel better.

How can you stop the little complainer in your head and make him happy? When you get an answer, act on it!

The Bottom Line

If you want a better life, at some point you are going to have to stop making the same mistakes.

Nobody else can make you feel like shit. The only person who can affect the way you feel is yourself by your actions, choices, beliefs, and habits.

So, acknowledge that you feel like shit and that you are the reason why, then figure out why and try to fix it. That’s the only way to move forward to happiness and success in life.